Once Upon a Time

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Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (also known as before I had a baby), I exercised twice a day and cared about things like visible panty lines and air drying most of my clothes. My, how times have changed. I’ve only written two posts in 2017 and they’re both about my baby. And this one is too, kind of. But it’s about more than that. It’s about being okay that things are different and that different doesn’t mean better or worse than they were before, just different.

Gone are the days of hitting up the YMCA more than once because I was bored and had nothing better to do. Uninterrupted Saturday night movie marathons? Think again! Getting the random “want to check out this concert tonight?” text from friends cease to exist. Sounds like I’m complaining, doesn’t it? Don’t worry, I’m not.

I kind of knew what to expect when I had a baby but I also had no idea what to really expect. Sure, everyone said I’d never sleep in again and so far they were right, but I never really understood what this new life would look like until I was living it. And just when I get used to whatever is working, things change and I have to roll with the punches.

I was reading my absolute favorite magazine, Esquire, a few months back and came upon a tiny tidbit of wisdom: “Life is not a list of outcomes. Life is about living.” I can’t recall who said it but I think it was a famous actor in one of those back-page Q&A shorts. I immediately connected with this because I thought of all the things I used to track, like books I had read and new restaurants I’d like to try, and concerts I’d been to and you know what, keeping track of those things didn’t make my life any better or those experiences any different. In fact, after I had Audrey I looked at my book list from years past and felt behind because I hadn’t been keeping up. Now, the big question is keeping up with who? Myself? My friends? Who cares is really the answer, right!

I think when we accept that things are going to be different and don’t mourn for what we had but embrace what we have life becomes more about living and less about outcomes.

P.S. as this photo suggests, my kid is pretty cool!